My final semester at PBU was beyond anything I could have ever imagined. It was just over a year ago now that I was deeply considering dropping out. I spoke with my advisor, Don Cheyney, about my plight. It disgusted me how I was throwing away my money, paying so much for professors who knew no more than what was in the text books they had me reading. Some of the classes were merely personal studies for which I was paying thousands of dollars. It frustrated me that it was a norm that those who go into a biblical college or seminary with fire and zeal would come out as ash and lightly-glowing embers. (I was convinced to stay for the sake of getting the degree, that is it). I was appalled by the lack of discipleship in the church - so much so that I did not even want to be a part of it. As far as I can remember being a Christian, I have never once understood why the church didn't have any interest in my spiritual growth. I never once understood why so many of the Christians that were "older" in the faith did not think through the things that I questioned. If just one person would have come along and told me what I learned after 10 years of seeking, I can't imagine the change it would have made in my life.This is what I learned: You are surrounded by people who are fake, complacent, and apathetic.
Oh yeah, people did tell me that. Jesus did, Paul did, John did... Did Peter? Yeah, probably Peter too... and all of the Prophets of the OT. I just never knew how to identify it or deal with it, but now I do. For years, I was one of them. A Christian who knew about God but never knew God. A Christian who loved God but never stopped loving the world. A Christian who looked at God but never saw Him. A Christian who heard God but never listened. Pastors and preachers and elders and so many others have attempted to live Christ in America only to have the seeds in their hearts choked out by the worries and loves of the world. But this is the lesson between the lines of that parable in Matthew 13 - the one who receives the seed among the thorns will often think himself to have the Word even after it was smothered and choked.
"As for what was sown among thorns, this is the one who hears the word, but the cares of the world and the deceitfulness of riches choke the word, and it proves unfruitful."
The fruit that these people do produce looks just like them - they "love" Jesus but love the world too. That is as contradictory as saying someone is half alive. The Word proves unfruitful, but we as people will always bear some sort of fruit, "For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life" (Gal. 6:8).
At the beginning of the past semester, I spent a lot of time seeking out God, trying to figure out what I was going to do in ministry. I came to write it out in one simple purpose statement, one that was a work in progress in my own life as well: "to inspire PBU students to break through complacency and discover the depths of God's love individually, communally, and missionally." God did some amazing things to fulfill that purpose statement.
There are so many stories that I will be sharing with you from both past and present - stories of redemption, miracles, blessings, sacrifice, love, mercy, community, beauty, downfalls, grief, and dismay. I hope you come back to read them =]
